Negativity VS Positivity

Have you ever breakdown several times just at the thought that u're not good enough for anything? well, i did. today on my way home, i questioned myself as to why i've become like this. ain't i very positive in the past. The one word that people have got for me would definitely be "positivegirl" but now? hahaha. so yeah. just kept thinking but t no avail. maybe theres too many factors causing me to be like this. Things that cause my mentality to negatively change how i view myself.

Today in school, i felt so terrible. i didn want to shed any tears but when i'm with DD, i just let my guards down subconsciously. He is the only one who have seen through all the weakness in me. DD told me stories as to how everything that had happened is good. Everything, no matter good or bad, happened for a reason. i felt enlighten after hearing those stories from him. He told me that it is important that i learn to accept who i am, including all my flaws. i need to learn to love everything about me, which i felt was true.

Time after time, i tried to push away negativity in me but i failed terribly. Each time, i felt worser about myself. i could hardly control my own emotions. But i'm glad, to have such an AWESOMEE bf(: like really. Also, recently i have been reading a book; "Life lessons for loving the way you live", i see lil hope about my future sparkling in me. the book is filled with total positivity. Maybe just what i needed.

So i've done my own reflection, and i'm determine to start making changes for real. no more empty words. But of course, baby steps. i want to be positive and i want to reach out to many people, to also spread positivity, to help them. &&How could i even do it with such mentality of mine now?

so change, is exactly what i need now.

**to anyone out there who is facing/feeling exactly how i'm, dun fret, u're not alone(: lets make the change and be a better person(: